So I was flipping through the newest ‘Cosmo’ (I know, I know, shut up)…
When I stumbled upon what is, apparently, a monthly feature:
Seems harmless- just some fun, fluffy filler, right? I wasn’t going to even bother with it, but the tattoo at the bottom middle caught my eye (it’s really beautiful) so I ended up reading all three. Let’s check them out, shall we?
That IS fun, isn’t it? Harmless & kind of cool (and now I really want to know if they actually make ultra-creamy mashed potatoes or if that was a joke about breastmilk). Moving on.
Love this. It’s a small spot to promote it, but it’s a spot all the same and it really is fantastic. As a matter of fact, check out their site here (P.Ink) and consider donating. Now, the final piece of this trilogy.
I’m seriously having a hard time seeing the fail in this. As a matter of fact, I’d put this in the “fun” category. I did a quick google search on the artist and I can’t find anything wrong with her. No negative press, nothing. I even perused her Etsy shop; her paintings, in my opinion, are pretty fantastic. Even the one they have her in front of in the Cosmo picture is cool, and, had I not been told they were painted with breasts, I wouldn’t have known that. And so what? Someone explain to me, civilly, please, why this is a fail? Because she found a different, non-harmful way to make art? And how is it her fault who her fans are and WHY IS THAT EVEN AN ISSUE? In reality, you have nothing bad to say about her, do you? So you had to stoop to what you thought was a negative that really wasn’t her fault, didn’t you?
Oh, and I found something else that really got my boxers in a bunch:
Really? I can’t even comment on this. Rather, let me point you to this wonderful website: Stop Telling Women To Smile.
I know I’m a guy (shut up again, please), but for a women’s magazine, this seems pretty shaming. Guy magazines really aren’t that much better (even being a guy, I do tend to avoid ‘Maxim’, but that’s a different rant for a different time), but I can only vouch for this issue as I normally don’t read this particular publication. The rest of the magazine wasn’t much better. Even the reason I bought it ended up being shit. Khloe Kardashian was on the cover. KHLOE. Just KHLOE. The only Kardashian who I can stomach and actually like. But what greets me when I get to the article?
AAAHHH!!! NO! KRIS JENNER! RUN!
Anyway, Cosmo, from a concerned male to a publication feeding the minds of the women I love: GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. You may think it’s “two small things,” but you have no clue what eyes will glimpse it and what minds will absorb a warped perception. And what will that lead to? Let’s not find out.
Now excuse me while I go order a Marcey Hawk original.
I really… I have no clue what to think. Yet I find myself wanting to sit next to him and learn his secrets. Like a weird Donnie Darko porn.
"do you wanna build a snowman??"
"i am a grown ass man."
Here we are again. This part took the biggest chunk of my soul.
'Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he fought
His cloven shield, his broken sword, they to the water brought.
His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest;
- Hannibal Buress: Live in Chicago – Saturday, March 29th at midnight
- Patton Oswalt: Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time – Sunday, April 6th at 10 pm
- Dave Attell: Road Work – Saturday, April 12th at midnight
- Comedy Underground with Dave Attell – a new 8-episode standup series hosted by Attell and featuring Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Amy Schumer, Judah Friedlander, Nikki Glaser, Lil Rel Howery, Ali Wong, and more. – Saturday, April 12th at 1am
- Tracy Morgan: Bona Fide – Saturday, April 20th at 10pm
- Jim Gaffigan: Obsessed – Saturday, April 27th at 10pm
- The Improv: 50 Years Behind the Brick Wall – Friday, May 2nd at midnight
- David Spade: My Fake Problems – Sunday, May 4th at 10pm
This line up is INSANE. Can’t wait.
It’s far beyond the stars
It’s near beyond the moon